Confidence or What the F--k?

Rest day on the schedule today.

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Of course, I pick a rest day to talk about confidence but I feel that it's something that you must carry as you go through your training cycle.  For example, when I was training for my last marathon, I had confidence.  Everything in my mind said I could run a faster marathon and nothing was going to stop me.  And I did it!  It makes all the difference in the world as you are out there.  Whether it's for a 5 mile training run or a 20 mile training run, it's confidence that helps you.

It's especially important as you toe the start line.  You need to have your wits about you.  You need to say I've trained for this.  You need to know you can do it.  It the difference between a good race and a bad race regardless of what the clock says.

For the last month I've been really struggling with this.  Yes, I've gone through the motions of training.  No, I'm not really on any schedule right now.  Maybe I'm just in a running rut?  I guess I've always considered a rut when you stopped running because you were tired of it.  I don't think I'm tired of it.  Whatever it is, I need to get out of it.  Next week is the start of marathon training for #5.  It's the first time that I'm not sure I'm ready for the training again.  It's the first time I've said, "Yeah, been there, done that."  Of course, it's also the first time I've really struggled with the longer miles.  The last several weekends, my long run has been 10 miles.  I know many would be happy with that but I've struggled at this distance which has brought down my confidence in training.  If I struggle at 10, what about 15?

It's not that I can't do it but somethings telling me not to do it this time around.  Perhaps it's my knee that I'm starting to feel after mile eight?  Perhaps it's my hips, that while don't bother me all the time, occasionally are sore.  But I know soreness from training and it feels different.  Not that it's pain since I would not run if it hurt so much I could not do it.  It's just that feeling that it might not be my time for #5.  I do feel somewhat obligated, though, to run this marathon.  I've pulled my running buddy all over the place for the first four marathons.  He's run when he's not wanted to run....in races he's not wanted to run.  So, yes, I feel obligated to run this one because it's one that he wants to run.

Of course, as we talk about it, he's also concerned with starting marathon training if a spring or fall marathon is skipped.  I'm not as worried about this as he is though.  If I can do it four times, I can do it again and I don't mind starting from the beginning again.  Will I lose time? - perhaps.  Frankly, unless I qualify for Boston(which will not happen), I'm not sure it matters to me that much.

I've also not committed to the race yet.  We're signed up for the half right now.  Maybe I just need to commit and sign up for the full now so there is no choice.  I have to run it then.  For the record, I've always been signed up before I've even started the training schedule.

What the f--k

As said in the movie Risky Business, "Every now and then say, "What the f--k." "What the f--k" gives you freedom.  Freedom brings opportunity.  Opportunity makes your future."

What the f--k.

Have a great day and....Keep Running!!!!